I Guess You could call me Tired

Hey guys,

Sorry I haven' posted in literally ages but... the reason is, is that I'm tired.
Now you could just say
Online Girl just go to sleep and you'll be fine
 But it's not that tired I'm talking about. As I said in a previous post I mentioned I have mild depression and now I feel it's slowly taking way my life bit by bit. Now I happen to have made some great friends through this blog and that helps me because I become super happy when that happens but it sill doesn't chase away that D word that drowns me.  It's as if it is taking all the things I love and trampling them into nothing, which absolutely sucks. For instance, I used to love reading, I would read in my free time and sometimes through lessons. I used to go to the library loads and take out books all the time. Now... whenever I read it becomes the biggest task in the world and I find no enjoyment whatsoever. I mean I do read but a lot less than I used to. 

Another thing this depression of mine does is control me. So if I get into a rage I have a breakdown, I cannot physically control the next actions I make. I had one recently actually. I couldn't handle the sadness and I wanted to get rid of all my belongings and I did. Half the things I created, loved, collected. All thrown away in a bin of utter regret. Why? I wish I knew because if I did I would stop it and keep all those memorable items I once owned. I have had these for some time now and realise I have to get help.

So what is my next step? After talking to my mum (wht took a lot of confidence and pretending I was someone else, thank you drama) We are currently looking at paces where I can get help from people who know how to handle these things that I have.
 

Now you may say those two thing you said are totally different 

                                        or
 

I actually have that and it's nothing like that

then say it because it isn't going to effect me because we deal things differently to everyone else, like thinking someone is better than you. Sure they might be better than you in maths but you could absolutely thrash them in English.
We as human beings cannot compare ourselves with anyone but ourselves



I hope you could relate or whatever to this blog and I will be back to usual posts soon ith an update about upcoming events I have so yeah
till next posts ma friends
Online Girl