Be You. Not them. YOU

Hey guys,

I am actually blogging so that's a good sign. I know I promise that I will be more consistent with my posts but it just gets hard sometimes.

Today I'm going to post a little bit about diversity.

diversity

noun, plural diversities.

1.

the state or fact of being difference.

 

A word that has been used many a time and yet not used properly. Sometimes we call ourselves diverse when really we try to fit in as much as possible because we are scared of what the consequences if we aren't all the same.

 

This saddens me sometimes but I cant say that I haven't tried to fit into society myself. Whenever a trend comes we always seem to follow it because either a big population of people are doing it or because someone you look up to has decided it's the new 'cool'.

 

I haven't decided if it is out of fear or what really, but I've just noticed a lot now that we say things about ourselves which aren't true at all. We as people are formed into what our personalities want us to be as well as what society wants us to be. I guess what I', trying to say is, you don't need Facebook or twitter to decide who you are or what you like. Its all up to you, so what you don't know now because at some point you will find out and that's the main thing.

 

This is probably the most cliché post ever but it s a true one. I have to admit whenever I see posts like these I will read them but scroll away rom thinking

"They all say the same things and yet after all these posts and videos nothing happens."

 

My mind is true when it says that though. No matter how many blog posts, or videos, or speeches, at the end of the day we are going home wishing we were someone else or the person we are. The bullies will stay the same, the depressed sadly stay the same. everything stays the same.

 

So why am I posting this even though I think it's a silly thing to post? Well the answer is this:

Although I know that no matter how hard we try to be ourselves, someone will judge and we will feel the same again and again. But it doesn't have to be like that. I want you to do something for me.

No matter how hard it gets, or how many times you've cried and felt bad, or how many things you have been hated because you decided to be you, go for it. If you go to an American school then tomorrow dress how you want to dress (even if its a monkey) or if you go to an English school and have a home clothes day, don't dress how the others want you to dress, dress how you want to dress. It's these little things that we do to help ourselves define who we are that can change the world bit by bit. sign up for that talent show and show them what you are made of or sign up for that fun run you've ben wanted to do but feel as if you will look like a clown if you do it. It's the things you love as a person that make you as a person  and not anyone else.

 

 

I just thought I would post a little self esteem booster not only for you but for myself too, things are really tough at the minute and just posting in general makes me happy.

I may post tomorrow but don't expect anything

 

Till next post ma friends

PointlessGirl

I'm back

Hey Guys!

Sorry for being away and posting nothing whatsoever at all but I have been both lazy and abroad.

From valentines day to Friday (two days ago) I was in Bulgaria on a ski trip, skiing (no surprise there). Although the food hadn't been the best and I may have caught something there (probably not) the trip has overall been a great and memorable experience for me. If you told me on the first day of skiing that on the last day I would go as high as 2000m on a mountain and ski down it, I would have laughed in face for several hours. Yet there I was on the last day 2000m high on a mountain skiing down it. I will be posting pictures of my trip soon so stayed tuned for that.

Updates?

Well I have come to a conclusion that I will be posting once a week because; one, I don't have the time to post regularly. two, it will just be an easier promise to keep and something that hopefully you can look forward to.

I will be doing a February favorite's either on February 28th or March 1st  so that's a thing now.

As you have recently seen on my blog I put a poll up which ended and I doubt anyone voted which is okay because I am going to take it down because I like how I post about the things I like.

More on my issues with life and daily rants? yes. Why? Because although I'm ranting about them sometimes they speak the truth and can also be funny if it is done correctly (which I'm ot saying I can do) but also some things just need to spoken.

I think so far that's all I have to say and please stay tuned for more updates I am loving how well this blog I think is going and I hope it cam continue creating a bigger family and yeah. I love you all gang (gang? don't ask)

Till next post ma friends
Pointless Girl xx

(yes. Yes I have changed my name because I prefer this one and well I will be talking about a lot of pointless stuff)

I Guess You could call me Tired

Hey guys,

Sorry I haven' posted in literally ages but... the reason is, is that I'm tired.
Now you could just say
Online Girl just go to sleep and you'll be fine
 But it's not that tired I'm talking about. As I said in a previous post I mentioned I have mild depression and now I feel it's slowly taking way my life bit by bit. Now I happen to have made some great friends through this blog and that helps me because I become super happy when that happens but it sill doesn't chase away that D word that drowns me.  It's as if it is taking all the things I love and trampling them into nothing, which absolutely sucks. For instance, I used to love reading, I would read in my free time and sometimes through lessons. I used to go to the library loads and take out books all the time. Now... whenever I read it becomes the biggest task in the world and I find no enjoyment whatsoever. I mean I do read but a lot less than I used to. 

Another thing this depression of mine does is control me. So if I get into a rage I have a breakdown, I cannot physically control the next actions I make. I had one recently actually. I couldn't handle the sadness and I wanted to get rid of all my belongings and I did. Half the things I created, loved, collected. All thrown away in a bin of utter regret. Why? I wish I knew because if I did I would stop it and keep all those memorable items I once owned. I have had these for some time now and realise I have to get help.

So what is my next step? After talking to my mum (wht took a lot of confidence and pretending I was someone else, thank you drama) We are currently looking at paces where I can get help from people who know how to handle these things that I have.
 

Now you may say those two thing you said are totally different 

                                        or
 

I actually have that and it's nothing like that

then say it because it isn't going to effect me because we deal things differently to everyone else, like thinking someone is better than you. Sure they might be better than you in maths but you could absolutely thrash them in English.
We as human beings cannot compare ourselves with anyone but ourselves



I hope you could relate or whatever to this blog and I will be back to usual posts soon ith an update about upcoming events I have so yeah
till next posts ma friends
Online Girl

Walk into the Woods

hey guys,

So today I went walking into the woods really near my house and decided to take my new camera with the memory card (that finally arrived about two weeks ago!) and decided to take it for a spin, and might I say the pictures that I'm going to show are some I am incredibly proud of myself for taking. So I hope you like the pictures and the weird captions that go with it!

1) Autumn bunting

2) The grumpy old log

3) The beautiful contrast

4) looking through the key hole

5) Pretty little pinecones

6) Where the wild things could be

7) Time to focus

 

I really hope you like my photos and when I go out with my camera I will most definitely take some more!
Well That's all from me guys
Till next posts ma friends
Online Girl xx

Forget Bye Bye Birdie It could Bye bye Bestie... :(

Hey guys,

 Sorry I haven't updated at all this week, I've just been feeling really down on myself and not me.
I can thankfully say that my time with the other mean three are over and I'm with thg and mp now which is good (look back to couple last posts what thg and mp mean).

I can't say though that I'm happy, that would be a lie and whets the point in lying? It just makes you more sad. I mean I'm happy being with thg and mp but sometimes I feel as if (because thg has been my best friend for a long time) that she treats me differently, sometimes not in a good way.

For Example:

 I would do something she probably wouldn't like and then she would get cross at me, but if mp were to do it then thg would think it was a fun joke and laugh at it and then make fun of my every move (which has been happening recently) almost like a constant bully. Surely your best friend wouldn't do that, would they? I have to say that recently I feel myself as if I'm drifting away from her and sometimes wish I had never made contact with her. So harsh I know but I'm getting tired or having to do everything for her because that is not what best friends do. Another thing I've found is that I love divergent but whenever I speak about either in conversation or in text  thg would say "Shut up and talk about something else" or (and this did come up in a conversation) she said "Okay talk about something I dislike to get my mind off things, I know. Just drone on about divergent I absolutely hate it" Those words hurt a lot. And if it were texting she would act as if nobody but me likes it.

 I've also realised  that I feel that everything is a competition with her, like if she beats me in something thg will make me feel like a dunce and make fun of me. The problem is though, although school makes me unhappy in general, if I broke the friendship I would be the most hated person in the world and even more because thg can be a total drama Queen. I cant run no matter how many times because apparently this will happen to every school I go to.
 But what if I did join a new school and became a nobody, parts of me would enjoy that because sometimes I don't want to do half the things everyone else does including this trip I have tomorrow with mp and thg who peer pressured into doing it.

I guess I'm hating on life which and becoming sad again, its almost as if when you're sad you'll never get out of that portal. I would say more about thg but I have to stop, I'm too tired.

I'm tired of everything really, life
                                             friends
                                             eating
Most of all, I'm tired of being tired of everything in life because all of a sudden its become a massive hassle for me do anything and its disrupting my sleep and more.
I don't know what to do anymore.

I guess my question is can you outgrow a best friend? it would help I you leave a comment down below for an answer

I guess that's all I have time for today guys
till next post ma friends


Online Girl xxx

And so I face my final frontier

Hey guys,

    Today I went back to school (I know right we went back late!) but sometimes when I go back to school after a while there's some happiness inside of me that can't help but but feel trampled by friendship.

I talked in a previous post about my friends and today I've decided to talk in detail. 

So at the beginning my group was fully formed with six people and the odd seven because the girl is in our form joined us and is really nice. But after a while we could not stop arguing and would create direct messages on Instagram saying FORGIVE AND FORGET but as we all know that saying is terrible because you can never forgive them and you never forget what they did. So after four months of arguing my friends and I (let's call one thg and the other mp) want to call it quites and end the friendship because we are already drifting apart and we did not sign up for arguing all through the year that Is suppose to be good. But I can't help feel that mp is stealing thg away from or thg prefers mp and wants to leave me because whenever it's just me and thg all she ever talks about is mp and I'm kind of sick of it and I just feel if the group splits eventually Im  going to be left alone with no one.

Because of that, parts of me want to leave my school but because of my birthday certain schools will make me move down a year and it's just difficult because I would enjoy joining a new secondary school and find people I can relate too but now I feel as if I'm the friend who you make fun of and expect me to find it funny  when actually really, it hurts.

Just a couple hours ago we finally called it quits and our friendship with the other three is other. Part of me is happy but the other hates it and sometimes I wonder whether I made the right friend because thg is nice and all but sometimes I feel like I'm the person she can blame stuff on and if I stand up to her I feel as if the world hates me. 

Don't you wish you could disappear into another world and start fresh re meeting the same people and get on with the better? I do, leave a comment down below if you do please.

Sorry this is a late post but I had homework. Even in the first day back at my school you still get tons of homework! 

Till next post ma friends 

Online Girl xx 

Stop For A Minute And Smile

Hey guys,

So from most blogs I've seen a lot of bloggers (including myself) have to deal with the A word.
What's the A word you might ask? Well It's an annoying and sometimes a horribly scary thing called ANXIETY. (sorry if these is a REALLY REALLY long post)

Because of my recent post I have had people emailing me asking if they have anxiety and how to deal with it, so it came to my mind that instead of telling you all separately I would post abut it. So I have for you are exercises on how to take away anxiety. (WARNING this will be a long post)
*THESE ARE NOT IN MY OWN WORDS BUT FROM SHEETS MY OWN DOCTOR HAS GIVEN ME SO YOU KNOW THEY ARE FACTUAL AND TRUTHFUL*

RELAXATION EXCERISES- WHY DO THEM?

Muscular relaxation exercises and deep breathing  are two common techniques to help people to relax and combat symptoms of anxiety. they may also help to ease symptoms of depression.

Some people relax with sport, exercise, listening to music, watching TV, reading a book, etc. However, some people find it helpful to follow specific relaxation exercises. This information gives you two commonly used routines- muscular  relaxing exercises, and deep breathing exercises. These two techniques are particularly useful to combat two common physical symptoms of anxiety- muscular tension and over-breathing. there is some evidence that they may also help to ease symptoms of depression

Muscular exercises-

Planned times for regular positive relaxation
Find a quiet warm place where you wont be disturbed. Choose a time of day when you do not feel pressured to do anything else. Lie down on your back, or sit in a well- supported chair if you are not able to lie down. Try to get comfortable and close your eyes, if you want you can lie on a firm of some cushions. The routine is to relax each of your muscle groups.


hands- clench on hand tightly for a few seconds as you breathe in. You should feel your forearm muscles tense, then relax as you breathe out. Repeat with other hand.

Arms- bend an elbow and tense all the muscles in the arm for a few seconds as you breathe in; then relax as you breathe out. Repeat with the other arm.

neck- Press your head back as hard as is comfortable and roll it slowly from side to side; then relax

Face- Try to frown and lower your eyebrows as hard as you can for a few seconds; then relax. Then raise your eyebrows (as if you were startled) as hard as you can; then relax. then clench your jaw for a few seconds; Then relax.

Chest- take a deep breath and hold it for a few seconds; then relax and go back to normal breathing

Stomach- tense the stomach muscles as tightly as possible; then relax

Buttocks- Squeeze the buttocks together as much as possible; then relax

legs- With your legs flat on the floor, bend your feet and toes towards your face as hard as you can; then relax. Then bend them away from your face for a few seconds; then relax.

Repeat this routine 3-4 times. Each time you relax a group of muscles, note the difference f how they feel when relaxed compared to when they are tense. Some people fin it eases their general level of 'tension' if they get into a daily routine of doing these exercises.

BREATHING EXERCISES
Many people have a tendency to breathe faster than normal when they are anxious. Sometimes this can make you feel a little dizzy, which makes you more anxious and you breathe even faster, which can make you more anxious, etc. If you practice 'deep breathing' when you are relaxed, you should be able to do this when you feel tense or anxious to help you relax.

try the following for 2-3 minutes. Practice this every day until you cando it routinely in any stressful situation.

Breathe slowly and deeply in through your nose and out through your mouth in a steady rhythm. Try to make yourself breath out  twice as long as you breath in. to do this, you may find it helpful to count slowly 'one, two' as you breathe in, and 'one, two, three, four' as you breathe out.

Mainly use your lower chest muscle (your diaphragm) to breathe. Your diaphragm is the big muscle under your lungs. It pulls the lungs downwards which expands the airways to allow air to flow in. When we become anxious we tend to forget to use this muscle and often use the muscle at the top of the chest and our shoulders instead. each breath is more shallow if you use these upper chest muscles. So, you tend to breathe faster, and feel more breathless and anxious, if you use your upper chest muscles other than your diaphragm.

*  you can check if you're using your diaphragm by feeling just below your breastbone (sternum) at the top f your tummy (abdomen). if you give a little cough, you can feel the diaphragm push out here. If you hold you hand there you should feel it move in and out as you breathe*

Try to relax you shoulders and upper chest muscles when you breathe. With each breath out, consciously try to relax those muscles until you are mainly using your diaphragm to breathe.


I really hope this helps you all because it has with me and I have been feeling better from these tips. I hope you can one day push through the terrible times and can be happy and not constantly feel down.

Some websites to help you with anxiety and also depression as they can hand in hand is
www.childine.co.uk and also www.NoPanice.org as these have been extremely helpful websites to me.

Till next post ma friends
Online Girl xx