What does 2014 scream?

WELL... WELCOME TO 2015

Even if it is the 2nd I do not care because its a friday woohoo!.
Well yet another year gone by and yet I still feel like its 2006. I have to say 2014 hasn't been a great for me in fact I think I jinxed it for myself. I remember on Facebook saying
HAPPY NEW YEAR BET THIS ONE IS GOING TO BE A GREAT ONE!
Now I'm not one to believe in voodoo or good and bad luck but when it comes around I become a little sketchy about the whole thing.
Now I don't want to create a sob story here but seeming as this is what I'm writing about I guess I have to don't I.
I think the first part of bad luck happened in May (May 15th to be exact) when *try no to cry Online Girl* My dog Parker suddenly got blood poisoning and soon put to sleep. When that happened to me I wanted to scram and shout and kill the world. It killed me because well he was my best friend, the one I could talk to when I was down and hated the world because I don't think he could judge me but to me it felt like he understood me and was always there for me. God I miss him so much.

The second bad thing that happened to me was school and my friends. Ever since we all found each other and learnt that we all had the same interests we became a really close friendship group but now I feel that as a distance memory because all we do now is constantly argue I think we just got over our sixth argument and half the time I don't even know why we're even arguing its stupid. Do any of you guys have these in your friendship groups? I'd love to know in the comments below. Sometimes I say to myself Online Girl if it gets to the tenth argument and its still this bad then leave them. I always feel serious about it because even if it means losing my best friend in the world (Whom I'm starting to feel distant with also) I would because if it means being free and no more arguments then I would definitely do it because in the words of Simon and Garfunkel "For a rock feels no pain. And an Island never cries" To me those words really speak to me because, what if you do feel know pain from being alone and actually become more happy? I don't know my mind is so messed up at the minute.

The third bad thing that happened to me was anxiety and mild depression. Now this has come up from the last two things I've talked about and it hurts. At first I wanted to hide it all away so no one would notice and just actout like I was happy when on the inside bit-by-bit something was dying. I didn't want to tell my paents about it because they would just say YOURE TIRED and end the argument which makes me more uset because no matter how you feel and try to show them,, they will never understand truly. EVER. Now maybe it is because I'm a teenage girl living in a world where you have to part of every single social media sight and its all about the butt and boobs like literally half the girls in my year on their instagram post pictures of themselves in skimpy dresses or their cleavage. I don't mesan to offend anyone by the way. But it's like  really? Has our world come to a state where we have to judge ourselves everyday to see if we think we are good enough for it whilst checking out every social media website 24/7?  maybe i'm wrong or maybe i'm right I'm not sure but what I do know is that I've partially gone off subject and should save this rant for a later blog post. But going back tomy anxiety and mild depression in the end I resorted to childline and van I just say they make you feel lots better about yourself than anyone will because catully it gave ,e the confidence to sit my mum down and talk to her seriously abput how i was feeling and in the end she got me medical help which i did on monday (yesterday) and the docotor gave megood advice and also tips on how to control my panic attacks which if you want i can share with you so (if you get them that is) we can get over these panic attacks. TOGETHER.

I wish their were great things that happened to me this yeaf but so little has which is ashame.  I'm sorry if this post was too depressing for guys but i really had to get it out of my system like desparately had to.
Now maybe this is a massively long blog that no one has time to read but hopefully if you care enough to show me you've read it maybe you could possibly comment TOGETHER down below in the comments because i love it that people care about this totally weird blog but if you dont want to comment that's fine. I'm not in it for the popularity but for the people who care and feel the same way.

Well all i have to say now is
Till next post ma friends and trust me happier blogs are definitly coming soon.

Online Girl xx